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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Rehired to Kill Again

by Scanner Smashed Face

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  • Streaming + Download

    Purchasable with gift card

     

1.
I got fired When everyone died Then rehired My CV lied New employees And a pay rise Everyone will suffer Before my eyes
2.
I hate Mondays I hate going to work I'd rather stay in bed I'm going to go berserk Paint the walls Red Make them all dead Paint the walls Red Make them all dead Monday Bloody Monday Bloody Monday
3.
You will die as I see fit A calculator with a bomb stuck to it Rigged to explode when you divide by zero Do your sums right or you won’t see tomorrow Calculabomb Calculabomb Weapon of math destruction Weapon of math destruction Calculabomb
4.
-Skit-
5.
Underneath a pile of mail Is the body of an unknown male The mailman asks what is that smell? I point and laugh at an exposed entrail Postroom putrefaction Mailbag mutilation Post
6.
Kim Jong Un wants trade secrets, I don’t have those I’ll send the contents of my drawer Do North Koreans have staplers? Probably not Gonna take all of their money If they have any? That country’s funny Failed rockets, theme parks, ski slopes Killer dogs and lots of poor folks Selling Trade Secrets to the Grim and Frostbitten Kingdom of North Korea Selling Trade Secrets to the Grim and Frostbitten Kingdom of North Korea I’ll sell them Emails, Staplers Passwords, Data Biscuits, Spreadsheets Biros, Uranium Pencils, Files Work Flows, Chocolate Folders, Hard Drive Toner, Schedules
7.
Shitty intern, fitting death Doesn’t learn, toilet breath Toilet break, follow him Snap his neck, pull the chain Doesn’t flush, cut him up There’s no rush, try again Flooded floor, floating gore Wash my hands, no more germs Shoved his body down the toilet Intern in the cistern Intern in the cistern Shoved his body down the toilet Shitty death Doesn’t flush, wash my hands Flooded floor, cut him up Floating gore, fitting death Snap his neck, no more germs
8.
I hate everyone equally, I’ll kill you all
9.
-Skit-
10.
I like porn I look at it at work Don’t want to get caught My manager’s a jerk I’ve built a macro To hide it in a spreadsheet Disguised as a workflow It makes things more discreet Watching hardcore porn Beats writing a report Lesbians having sex While I’m wanking at my desk My screen is full of tits Productivity takes a hit Two cocks in her ass I’ve disguised it as a graph
11.
Intern went to get the coffee It's the one thing that can stop me From murdering everybody From murdering everybody Coffee break your neck Oh! What the fuck is this? Decaf?! Fuck! I throw it in his stupid face The boiling liquid melts his skin I smash the mug into his neck He's bleeding from within Burn your face Melt your skin Coffee break your neck
12.
-Skit-
13.
Lumpy
14.
I have a ruler, I use it to kill It’s really handy, it’s easily concealed It’s the ruler of the dead
15.
Lots of managers And some executives In a meeting room They will meet their doom Once they are all in I will lock the door The room becomes their tomb They’ll die screaming on the floor I got some angry bees I stole them from a farmer I’ll put them in an air vent And then I’ll run for cover The bees will sting their eyes And many other places I laugh at their demise And horribly swollen faces Step 1: Lock the doors Step 2: Put a beehive in the air conditioning Step 3: Release the bees! Step 4: Go home early, you’ve earned it
16.
Meating Room 00:24
I’m going to turn the meeting room into an abattoir Run in there with a chainsaw, spill blood and guts everywhere I’m covered in gore, I want some more I’ll meat you in the meating room
17.
This looks like my kind of meeting Much less talking, much more feeling Right, lets go, lets start the touching Let‘s see what you folks are hiding Frisk assessment
18.
My carbon footprint’s low Clean energy is cool I’ll find things to recycle I’ve found alternate fuel I’ll drain my co-workers and use their blood for oil And grind up their faces to fertilise my soil Arms can be torn off, and used to scratch my back Their lungs when inflated can be used as a rucksack Human Resources I’ll harness the wind With a turbine made of skin I’ll power my generator With a human incinerator Your pancreas and bowels Make fantastic solar panels I’m gonna save the planet By fucking killing you all
19.
A trip to head office Is always a treat I get to visit people And turn them into meat I bring my giant axe And smash it through their heads Killing to the max I will not have any regrets Behead Office Behead Office I bring my giant axe (behead office) Killing to the max (behead office)
20.
Deadline 00:15
You have missed a deadline And there is a heavy fine Your head is on the line I’ll kill you when I’ve got the time Head line Dead line
21.
Desktopsy 01:12
This guy died I don’t know how Cut him open Lets find out! Slice open his chest Pull apart his ribs Drain away the blood To see deeper within Shit he’s woken up! Punch him in the face Punch him in the lung Punch apart his spleen Now he’s fucking dead I take away his heart I teabag him in the face Shit inside his chest cavity Bury my face into his intestines Desktopsy
22.
-Skit-
23.
I’ve been promoted, now I’ve got minions They will do my evil bidding Do some filing, clean the toilets Hide the bodies of the people I’ve been killing Or you’ll be demoted To death

about

Having been fired for stealing office supplies (and murdering all of his co-workers), our nameless protagonist somehow gets rehired, and continues to wreak office-based, pun-filled havoc.

credits

released September 19, 2015

Mark "Skullwheel" Butler - Vocals, Bass & Drums
Jason "Killputer" Harper - Guitars

CW, DT, JS, SS and PC - Additional Vocals

license

all rights reserved

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about

Scanner Smashed Face UK

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