1. |
Rehired to Kill Again
00:53
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I got fired
When everyone died
Then rehired
My CV lied
New employees
And a pay rise
Everyone will suffer
Before my eyes
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2. |
Monday Bloody Monday
00:34
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I hate Mondays
I hate going to work
I'd rather stay in bed
I'm going to go berserk
Paint the walls Red
Make them all dead
Paint the walls Red
Make them all dead
Monday Bloody Monday
Bloody Monday
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3. |
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You will die as I see fit
A calculator with a bomb stuck to it
Rigged to explode when you divide by zero
Do your sums right or you won’t see tomorrow
Calculabomb
Calculabomb
Weapon of math destruction
Weapon of math destruction
Calculabomb
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4. |
Call Centre Autopsy Pt 2
01:29
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-Skit-
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5. |
Postroom Putrefaction
00:25
|
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Underneath a pile of mail
Is the body of an unknown male
The mailman asks what is that smell?
I point and laugh at an exposed entrail
Postroom putrefaction
Mailbag mutilation
Post
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6. |
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Kim Jong Un wants trade secrets, I don’t have those
I’ll send the contents of my drawer
Do North Koreans have staplers? Probably not
Gonna take all of their money
If they have any? That country’s funny
Failed rockets, theme parks, ski slopes
Killer dogs and lots of poor folks
Selling Trade Secrets to the Grim and Frostbitten Kingdom of North Korea
Selling Trade Secrets to the Grim and Frostbitten Kingdom of North Korea
I’ll sell them
Emails, Staplers
Passwords, Data
Biscuits, Spreadsheets
Biros, Uranium
Pencils, Files
Work Flows, Chocolate
Folders, Hard Drive
Toner, Schedules
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7. |
Intern in the Cistern
00:28
|
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Shitty intern, fitting death
Doesn’t learn, toilet breath
Toilet break, follow him
Snap his neck, pull the chain
Doesn’t flush, cut him up
There’s no rush, try again
Flooded floor, floating gore
Wash my hands, no more germs
Shoved his body down the toilet
Intern in the cistern
Intern in the cistern
Shoved his body down the toilet
Shitty death
Doesn’t flush, wash my hands
Flooded floor, cut him up
Floating gore, fitting death
Snap his neck, no more germs
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8. |
Equal Chopportunities
00:05
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I hate everyone equally, I’ll kill you all
|
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9. |
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-Skit-
|
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10. |
Microshaft XXXcel
00:27
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I like porn
I look at it at work
Don’t want to get caught
My manager’s a jerk
I’ve built a macro
To hide it in a spreadsheet
Disguised as a workflow
It makes things more discreet
Watching hardcore porn
Beats writing a report
Lesbians having sex
While I’m wanking at my desk
My screen is full of tits
Productivity takes a hit
Two cocks in her ass
I’ve disguised it as a graph
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11. |
Coffee Break Your Neck
00:51
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Intern went to get the coffee
It's the one thing that can stop me
From murdering everybody
From murdering everybody
Coffee break your neck
Oh! What the fuck is this? Decaf?! Fuck!
I throw it in his stupid face
The boiling liquid melts his skin
I smash the mug into his neck
He's bleeding from within
Burn your face
Melt your skin
Coffee break your neck
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12. |
Happy Birthday Karen
01:11
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-Skit-
|
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13. |
|
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Lumpy
|
||||
14. |
Ruler of the Dead
00:28
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I have a ruler, I use it to kill
It’s really handy, it’s easily concealed
It’s the ruler of the dead
|
||||
15. |
|
|||
Lots of managers
And some executives
In a meeting room
They will meet their doom
Once they are all in
I will lock the door
The room becomes their tomb
They’ll die screaming on the floor
I got some angry bees
I stole them from a farmer
I’ll put them in an air vent
And then I’ll run for cover
The bees will sting their eyes
And many other places
I laugh at their demise
And horribly swollen faces
Step 1: Lock the doors
Step 2: Put a beehive in the air conditioning
Step 3: Release the bees!
Step 4: Go home early, you’ve earned it
|
||||
16. |
Meating Room
00:24
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I’m going to turn the meeting room into an abattoir
Run in there with a chainsaw, spill blood and guts everywhere
I’m covered in gore, I want some more
I’ll meat you in the meating room
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17. |
Frisk Assessment
01:21
|
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This looks like my kind of meeting
Much less talking, much more feeling
Right, lets go, lets start the touching
Let‘s see what you folks are hiding
Frisk assessment
|
||||
18. |
Human Resources
00:37
|
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My carbon footprint’s low
Clean energy is cool
I’ll find things to recycle
I’ve found alternate fuel
I’ll drain my co-workers and use their blood for oil
And grind up their faces to fertilise my soil
Arms can be torn off, and used to scratch my back
Their lungs when inflated can be used as a rucksack
Human Resources
I’ll harness the wind
With a turbine made of skin
I’ll power my generator
With a human incinerator
Your pancreas and bowels
Make fantastic solar panels
I’m gonna save the planet
By fucking killing you all
|
||||
19. |
Behead Office
00:50
|
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A trip to head office
Is always a treat
I get to visit people
And turn them into meat
I bring my giant axe
And smash it through their heads
Killing to the max
I will not have any regrets
Behead Office
Behead Office
I bring my giant axe (behead office)
Killing to the max (behead office)
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20. |
Deadline
00:15
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You have missed a deadline
And there is a heavy fine
Your head is on the line
I’ll kill you when I’ve got the time
Head line
Dead line
|
||||
21. |
Desktopsy
01:12
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This guy died
I don’t know how
Cut him open
Lets find out!
Slice open his chest
Pull apart his ribs
Drain away the blood
To see deeper within
Shit he’s woken up!
Punch him in the face
Punch him in the lung
Punch apart his spleen
Now he’s fucking dead
I take away his heart
I teabag him in the face
Shit inside his chest cavity
Bury my face into his intestines
Desktopsy
|
||||
22. |
|
|||
-Skit-
|
||||
23. |
Demoted to Death
00:37
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|
||
I’ve been promoted, now I’ve got minions
They will do my evil bidding
Do some filing, clean the toilets
Hide the bodies of the people I’ve been killing
Or you’ll be demoted
To death
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Scanner Smashed Face UK
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DP689GU895 - MUSIC AND LYRICS WRITTEN BY SCANNER SMASHED FACE
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